We Are Our Choices
by cometothedarksidewehavecookies
Summary: What difference would the choices made after the events of The Fires of Idirsholas do to change events, change destiny?
1. Chapter 1

AN: I do not own Merlin, the characters or any recognisable storylines. If I did, the next series would not be cancelled.

Chapter One

Merlin blinked back tears as Morgause and the deathly still Morgana disappeared in a swirl of black and grey. In his periphery he saw Uther get up, Arthur having burst through the doors moments earlier and saw Morgause take Morgana.

"Guards!" Uther called. "Morgana has been kidnapped, stop them escaping, they can't have gone far." He cried out anxiously, the few guards that were waking up nearby obeying his immediate request and raising the alarm.

"Why, why would she take her?" Arthur asked no one in particular.

Merlin saw a flash of guilt cross Uthers face for a moment before passing.

#

"What else could you have done Merlin?" Gaius told his ward nearly a week later as he saw Merlin still angonising over his decision.

"Maybe not poison her." Merlin replied bitterly.

"And see the whole of Camelot destroyed, everyone you know and don't know in this city. She would have killed Uther and Arthur with no preamble."

Merlin hummed. "Morgana helped us try and save the King though."

Gaius looked thoughtful as he heard this new bit of news. "Then perhaps she is as not lost to us as we thought. It is one thing to suggest overthrowing one King to allow for a better reign, it is another to participate in it."

"Maybe you're right. She was terrified the entire time." Merlin sat up straighter as he considered this. "I know she wanted Uther gone because of his tyrannical ways, but I think you're right."

"There is no point agonising over the what ifs until we see Morgana again, for now she is in Morgause' hands."

"Why did Morgause target Morgana?" Merlin asked slyly. "You can't avoid the question, you know why."

Gaius sighed. "I swore Uther I would not tell another soul, I cannot."

Merlin looked disappointed. "Fine, fine." He muttered disappointedly as he left the rooms in a rush.

#


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Hi, I'm planning to upload once a week, the weekend most likely, enjoy the update, thanks to the reviews received and hope you enjoy this. Sorry for any small grammer mistakes.

Chapter Two.

"What troubles you sister?" Morgause asked Morgana as she came upon her sister gazing out of her window.

Morgana turned to her sister brightly. "Nothing, just looking at the view."

The view was nothing of consequence, it was a rather pleasant view of wilderness but Morgana had been facing it but not seeing it as she thought over the recent events in Camelot.

Morgause did not look like she believed Morgana. "Come with me Morgana, we've people to meet."

"This is those which you spoke of before? Allies?" Morgana asked hesitantly.

"Yes, sister. They will greatly aid our cause." Morgause smiled.

Morgana nodded and followed her sister from the room.

Merlin sighed as he walked past the newly repaired buildings in the lower town, those that were damaged with Killgarahs' attack were being repaired and rebuilt, Arthur spurring on the repairs whilst his father was being cautious over the cost.

"How are you Merlin?" Gwen asked Merlin as she passed him.

"Fine, I suppose." Merlin replied a little glumly, "What about you? You've kind of lost your job."

Gwen smiled dimly. "Arthur, I mean the Prince, has promised me a job regardless, so I've been helping where needed." She shrugged.

"That's something at least."

"I just wish the search party for Morgana was making some headway." She said her composure falling again.

Merlin nodded miserably, his guilt over his part in her disappearance plaguing him again.

"I only hope that she is safe, and looked after." Gwen added.

"And hope she'll come home soon." Merlin added his mind sparking with a thought. "I got to go." He ran off and left Gwen in the lower town.

Merlin ran straight to his room, almost tumbling into Gaius when he ran in the door.

"Merlin, what is the rush?" Gaius asked straightening the bottles he had upset at Merlins sudden appearance.

"What if we try and locate Morgana ourselves?" Merlin said hurriedly.

"How?" Gaius asked indulging his ward.

"Magic." Merlin replied as if he were dumb.

"You cant just wish for Morgana's location." Gaius replied with an air of exasperation. "It is harder than that."

"I know, but if she is being concealed with magic, then magic can find her again." Merlin said.

"And what if she does not want to return? You said yourself that she conspired with Morgause to cast the sleeping spell over the city, her loyalty might not be aligned with your own." Gaius warned.

"Then I need to make sure I know she doesn't want to be here. Explain why I did what I did."

"If this is just an exercise in solving your own dilemma…"

"It is not." Merlin protested.

"I've never come across a spell able to locate a person…" Gaius mumbled thinking over.

"Well, I need to find one." Merlin said determinedly.

"It is not in that book of yours." Gaius called after Merlin who disappeared into his room.

Merlin still grabbed his book regardless, he was sure he had seen a spell used to locate missing objects, he was sure to try and alter it to find a missing person.

Morgana was in her room again when Morgause entered without knocking again.

"There you are sister. Are you not well?" Morgause asked her.

"I am fine," Morgana replied. "Why are we hosting them? I do not like them." She asked sulkily.

"Sister, they are our allies, we must fight Uther fire for fire, we cannot do that by ourselves, they will aid us in ridding the world of Uther once and for all."

"Then what?" Morgana asked feeling like her old self challenging Uther in court.

"Then what?" Morgause echoed strangly. "Then we can bring magic back to the realm." She replied as if wondering what mental affliction was ailing her sister.

"How?" Morgana asked curiously. "Do you have a plan after Uther dies?"

Morgause looked troubled at Morgana's questioning. "Trust me sister."

Morgana smiled feeling unsatisfied with her sister's answer. "Of course, I was just thinking of the long run."

"There are many things that cannot be decided until the day when Uther is gone." Morgause said.

"Yes, you are right, of course." Morgana replied thinking that her sister knew best, she had lived in Uther shadow almost her whole life as Morgause told her.

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	3. Chapter 3

AN: Heres the latest chapter. Enjoy.

Chapter Three.

"How goes the repairs?" Uther asked Arthur the next day at the end of the court meeting.

"Well father. The lower town is rebuilt, there are only a few damaged buildings that are in need of repair, but I do not forsee the repairs taking longer than another week." Arthur reported.

"And the search for Morgana?"

"So far, fruitless. It is difficult to trace their departure because of the way the left, and there is very little we know of Morgause" Arthur replied frustrated.

Merlin saw Uther twitch and look at Gaius before turning away, Merlin frowned.

"Keep trying, she was kidnapped under our very nose." Uther said harshly.

Arthur nodded.

"What was all that about?" Merlin asked Gaius when they entered their rooms after leaving the court summons.

"What was what?" Gaius said with an air of confusion.

"What is it about Morgause that makes Uther look at you? What is it you know about her?" Merlin accused.

"I'm sure I don't know what you mean." Gaius replied dryly.

"No, this is serious, what is going on, what you do you know about Morgause that you aren't telling me?" Merlin asked insistently.

"I cannot say, it is not important." Gaius impressed on him.

Merlin rolled his eyes and turned away, "I'm not going to tell everyone what it is, but I'm trying to find Morgana, and everything is important."

"Do not concern yourself with it Merlin" Gaius said quietly.

Merlin huffed and left the room.

"Do you really think that she will still be here?" Merlin asked Arthur the next day as they left for Arthur's personal quest for Morgana.

Arthur was quiet for a few moments. "It is the only real lead we have Merlin. This is the only place I have seen Morgause outside of Camelot." He was clearly not expecting much.

"We'll find her." Merlin said, echoing his promise in his head 'no matter what'

Merlin and Arthur reached the abandoned castle where Morgause had lured Arthur here before to tell him the truth of his birth.

Merlin looked around the space where Morgause showed Arthur his mother and saw that there probably had not been other visitors since they were last there, he spied a few abandoned candles that had a light coating of dust on them. He frowned and decided to search the larger parts of the building that was still standing, in case Morgause ever stayed here for any length of time.

He saw Arthur poke around the clearing as Merlin stepped inside the building. Merlin climbed a staircase but soon dismissed the idea as he realised that the rooms in the buildings were too draughtly, with many windows or doors missing, even a few not covered with ceilings, instead he headed down to where the basements should be, those should still be weather proof.

As he stepped down from the winding staircase leading to the basement Merlin looked around for a torch, resorting to lighting one with magic to see his way.

He frowned as he disturbed the air it seemed no one had been down here for a while either. Hoping for some sort of clue he pressed on, finally he hit some luck.

"Arthur!" He called in the off chance the Prince could hear him.

Merlin looked at the small items that were left behind by Morgause, he saw something that gave him pause for thought and picked it up carefully. It was a small crested piece of jewellery, but the more puzzling thing was the crest that Merlin recognised. It was the crest of Morgana's father, he recognised it from the framed crest that was in her chambers.

"Merlin where are you?" Arthur called out.

Something in Merlin made him tuck the jewellery away, knowing it was a vital clue to find Morgana, he called out so Arthur could find him.

"What did you find?" Arthur asked as he entered the small room Merlin was in.

"It looks like some things were left behind, definitely belonging to a womans." Merlin reported. "Maybe Morgause stops here often?"

Arthur looked through the pile of items. "There's nothing here to suggest Morgause though." Or that she had been back here since he had met her here Arthur thought.

"The place is abandoned, and she was the last person we saw here. Chances are it was her." Merlin said.

"But where does that lead us? There's no clue to where she has gone."

Merlin thought to himself quietly as he watched Arthur pace out his frustration.

"At least there is a suggestion to the area she prefers. She might be in this area rather than the other side of Camelot." Merlin suggested.

Arthur looked thoughtful. "I suppose, but this might have just been a base."

"True, this place looks like is a source of great magical power." Merlin said absentmindedly.

"How do you know that?" Arthur asked.

"Oh, Gaius. Long story. Plus all the magical artifacts around." Merlin said quickly his arm waving towards the scattered objects in the room they were in. "But, it would make sense that she would return here again."

"We should set up a scout in the area in case she comes back then." Arthur said decidedly.

"The village on the hill to the East would have a great vantage point."

"Yes, and less likely to be discovered." Arthur agreed quickly and happily. "Good work Merlin." He added slightly surprised.

"My Lady Morgana." A silky voice called to Morgana,

Morgana turned to the voice and saw one of her sister's guests. "Yes."

"When your sister invited me here I was not hoping for such a pleasant visit" he told her moving closer to her.

Morgana internally rolled her eyes. "I was not expecting so many guests myself either." She said instead, ignoring her internal gratefulness for Uther's political lessons.

"And for your sister to have such a beautiful sibling like yourself is all the more pleasing." He added.

"You flatter me My Lord." She said flatly.

"I would like to know more of you Morgana, to have suffered under Uther for so long and to be so resilient." He said silkily.

Morgana tensed slightly. "You do me a great compliment My Lord, alas I find myself quite busy this day. Perhaps another time?" She suggested diplomatically before retreating as soon as possible.

As Morgana reached her room she wondered the sense of having these guests here, they all looked at her strangely and spoke in hushed whispers with her sister when they thought she would not notice, it made her uneasy. None of them she had observed performing magic, her sister coveted one of the guests more than the others, which Morgana had already deduced was the most powerful and rich of them all. The Lord that had spoken with her earlier gave her the creeps, much like the older Lords that Uther often visited, each time Morgana feared that she would be bartered off as a bride for Uther's political gain. She often wondered what she hated more, Uthers treatment of those with magic or his treatment of her and those around her like pawns in a giant game, one which he was the player.

"I do not like that you have displeased our guest Morgana." Morgause announced as she stepped into the room again unannounced.

Morgana turned calmly to her sister. "I was planning on studying the texts you obtained me sister on magics, I cannot do that if I am pandering to the whims of a guest with small talk."

"Do not speak like that sister. He is an important man, one of which can aid us in our goal, he does you great compliment to wish to know you more. I suggest you take that advantage." Morgause said harshly.

Morgause turned and left the room leaving Morgana feeling as if her father had just chasited her. She frowned and considered her sister's recent behaviour, she must be under a great deal of stress Morgana deduced to act so coldly.

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